Well, drama isn't just for girls. I have three boys. But, my oldest two never presented me with any sort of drama the likes of which my friends with daughters have shared. Of course, the biggest difference between my 15 and 13 year olds and my 9 year old is that the youngest has an iPod Touch - that he knows how to use in all its glamorous capacity. Yes, the older two had similar devices but received them when they were older - middle school age. And, they don't use them to their capacity. My oldest son has an old iPod in which its purpose is music only. My middle son has an older generation iPod but uses it for music, internet and apps only. He didn't have friends with iPods who used their iPod's to its capacity either, at least not at the age in which they all wound up with their pricey devices. By now, several years later, Tyler's friends might use them for more than previously mentioned, I wouldn't know. When I say 'to its capacity' I'm referring to texting and FaceTiming - communication other than by means of a house phone. Gosh, I remember the days talking for hours on my bed with the corded phone, the line stretching down the hall into my room, with my door shut, giggling like the girl I was!
Ultimately, Joshua was grounded from his iPod because he lied to me about doing his homework. After he brought it to me I decided to read his text messages, of which I'd previously told him, "until the day you leave this house for good, I will always stalk you and read your messages. So, be sure you don't say anything you don't want me to read." As I was reading an exchange between him and Katrina I began to get a little worried. She texted things like, "I don't care about u," how Joshua doesn't care about other people, "We were good friends but u have to rune (ruin) it. And, Gus (guess) what I just told Whitney to block you . . .," and "Ur the worst friend." To which some of Joshua's replies were, "Katrina I do like you it's just sometimes your a brat," "and she (Whitney) has some respect. . .unlike you," and "you really think I'd listen to you." His later comments included some apologies. So, wondering what in the world is going on I asked him.
Apparently, he stepped on Whitney's hand at recess and she cried about it to Katrina. Joshua said he didn't know anything about it but said he was sorry. Katrina probably took the lead consoling her friend by man-bashing Joshua as if he did it on purpose and thought it was funny. Of course, there could be a whole lot more to the story but I will only dig a deep hole if I try harder to find out more. So, I did talk with Joshua about some of his comments (and the poor kid was showing no expression but little drops of tears were dripping off his face). In the end I allowed him to make a final apology to Katrina but we don't know if she got it because she claims to have blocked him and never replied. She did say she was having all her friends block him, too, and that really hurt Joshua's feelings. This was Wednesday so Thursday after school I asked him how things were with his 'friends.' He said they weren't terrible but weren't good either. The girls were passing notes saying that no one 'trusts' him (I don't know what he did trust-wise to upset the girls, he says he doesn't know either). Anyway, he asked me, so forlornly, "Are girls always like this?" Awwww! How sad!!! But, of course, I chuckled, and told him this was girl drama, to get used to it. As cute as I found the conversation I did give him some advice on handling girl drama and suggested apologies where apologies are due then back off and wait it out. He liked that advice.
But, I know that if it weren't for third-graders messaging one another, this kind of bickering could be either years down the road, or for my son, at least, an experience he might never have had. I'm not saying 3rd graders shouldn't have the capability or privilege of texting, it's the way of the world right now. I'm not going to deny my son the opportunity to stay on track with technological advances, he will just have to learn how to handle side effects that arise from early use and new means of technology, even when it comes to something so simple as communication. Perhaps the advantage here is that all these boys and girls will get this 'nonsense' out of their systems before middle school and thus, will have more focus on school during those years than socialization. Who knows. ??
But, I suppose this was the first real talk about girls I've had with any of my kids, and it happens to be with the 9 year old. So adorable in a way. A little sad, but this is a little stumbling block, a small debacle to overcome and learn from. Technology really has kids growing up so fast, but grow up - they must!
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