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Tuesday, April 09, 2013

Scared Mother

Okay - knowing how I feel right now, how am I going to survive my son learning to drive? The only thing I can think of is to get a lifetime supply of Ativan and to learn not to care.  Sick, sick, sick.  I know it happens but when I'm in my home I can seperate myself from the knowledge that accidents happen, people get hurt and die.  When I drive by them - they affect me very, very differently!  It's also that I contemplate how it affects others and THAT affects me!

I had to drive Tyler & Mitchell to school this morning with a project and got detoured because of a head on collision.  Now it's been reported a body was moved from the scene.  Some of the thoughts going through my mind are, are they young?  A high school student?  A child in a car with an adult driver?  A grandparent who loss will tumultously affect a young person?  A young mom?  A new dad?  Just married?  Just off to college?  It goes on. . .

I feel it and it's awful. 

How do I let go and allow my child the right to learn to drive and take his life in his own hands?  Of course, I imagine worrying about him just as much being a new driver as I do with him being a college driver, a career-minded driver, a young, married driver, a new dad driver, a middle-aged driver.  I think I will worry every single day I know he will be on his own.  Maybe I won't be so worried when the other two reach driving age???? 

Horse and carriage, people.  That's what I think we should go back to.  (With seatbelts!)  (And, maybe helmets, too.)

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