I feel completely overwhelmed.
Justin and Tyler are both playing tennis. But since one is at the high school and one is at the middle school, they are never in the same place.(I shouldn't complain, tennis season isn't very long.) Add to the mix Joshua whose baseball season just started and a husband who works a rotating schedule and you have a real mess!
Today, Tyler did not have practice (thank heavens). But Justin had a game (not a home game) and when he called to have me pick him up he asked why I didn't come watch him play. Thanks, son, feeling lousy here - but I had a dilemma that needed my attention. I wound up telling him he'd have to wait until I left for Joshua's ball game to be picked up. I had him waiting on the side of the road as I pulled up so he could hop in quick, like a hitch-hiker. Feeling lousy yet some more! Unfortunately, I couldn't take him home after a very long and tiring day until the ball game was over. We didn't make it home before 9 pm.
My dilemma earlier today? Well, in the past weeks Tyler has been on a downward spiral and picking up speed. Previously, I've been working with Tyler trying to re-work tests, complete missing assignments, and work on some projects. And I finally broke when, after trying for 4 hours on Mothers Day to figure out how cellular respiration works, I had a hissy fit because I, myself, couldn't understand it. I emailed the teacher that I cannot help my kid if I can't understand the material. Perhaps we need to devise a plan to help Tyler before the final weeks of school conclude. So today I met with all the teachers and ultimately - Tyler needs to up his meds. It was very clear that our attempt to wean him from the Adderall was in vain. But, make no mistake - I know Tyler's problem isn't solely medication-related. No, he's got a lazy streak and has developed some manipulative behaviors. I definitely have my hands full with him. None-the-less, we have to complete assignments and bring up our grade. Wait. His grade. Not mine. Although, I should be graded - if only for my efforts. I've been a good mom.
But, all this running around and not being able to divide my time and energy equally among my kids (and them letting me know it) has left me feeling a little detached.
Pathetic as it may sound I am looking forward to Friday. Why? Well, here's the pathetic part. I have chosen this day to go to the elementary school to clean out the PTO closet. LOL! Crazy, huh? Well, the way I see it I will be in the closet - alone - and with my mind focused on organizing. A specific task not related to my kids, home, friends or family. No one to tell me how to do it and no watching of the clock. No deadlines and no one to critique my work. No one to complain (and should they - I won't care). I can't quite describe, the way I want to, why such a menial, yet tedious task, should be something I look forward to. (My kids tell me I'm weird. Then, again - so do most of my friends!) :) It will be an odd - but very welcome break from the last few weeks I've had!
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